Stop the Comparison Game
What if you are not behind, but you are looking in the wrong direction?
The comparison trap always has a way of catching you. When you see someone share a promotion or new job on LinkedIn, feelings of envy or self-doubt can arise. You may feel glad for their excitement, but also begin questioning your own path with thoughts like “Where am I headed? What am I doing? Why am I not making progress?”.
Last weekend, I spent a night with five of my high school girlfriends. We have stayed in touch over the years and try to get together when we can. I love and admire all of them very much. Ten years ago, I would have compared myself to each of them, measuring everything from their relationship status to their weight and financial and career status. I would inevitably turn on myself, starting the self-bashing journey of “I’m not enough and what am I doing with my life.” Fast-forward ten years, working as a psychotherapist and career coach, I see things a little differently now.
We all compare ourselves to some extent and have been conditioned to do so over the years. As a Career Coach, I see this all of the time with my clients. They assess and measure their success based on what they see around them. This can be a powerful motivator, especially early in our careers. We can compare ourselves to mentors we want to emulate. However, as we progress in our careers, this comparison game can be detrimental to our overall well-being and success.
We are all so different! We each have different strengths, skills, talents, and life and work experiences. It is truly amazing when you start to see the unique individuals we all are.
Here are some reminders and tips to help you put a stop to this comparison practice:
· Show up as your authentic self
· Get to know and accept all of your quirks, challenges, and gifts.
· Lean into what makes you unique
· Use your voice, share your opinions, and let others truly see you.
· Say no to those things that no longer line up with your values or make sense for you
· Run your own race
You won’t find your own path while you are looking at everyone else’s. Put your blinders on and just embrace the path you are on. You can make adjustments along the way. Feeling stuck and need some help moving forward? Schedule a complimentary discovery call here.
Until next time,